One of the hardest things for me understand, is why a person would kill another. It is unthinkable, its horrible, i dont know enought words to say what I feel.

I wish I had some awesome spiritual thing to say about this, All I know is that God is good no matter what.

But something happened at work, my boss is saying I am weak, and has compassion of me, but I just dont understand.

I work at an insurance office, and a two weeks ago we had a case, one of our clients was murdered. He was stabbed 25 times in his house.

I will not go into detail, I dont know much. I dont want to know more, All I know is that there is a lot of paperwork and legal things to sort throught and I have been working extra hours. and had a hard time sleeping.

I saw the pictures, it was horrible. I want to forget them, all I can think about is what about his family, what about his wife? What if He didnt know about God and just went to a eternal life without God.

Please help me pray for his family, and for myself.

I just realized we dont have internet anymore at my house, so if i get slow with the posting its because of that.

ANd since im at work I cant write much, I just want to say that God is in control of everything, even if we dont understand, even if it doesnt make sense. God is the Great Designer.

Everyday wake up at 5:30, get ready.

Go to school at 6:15, be there before 7:00!

Leave school at 2:00, get to work before its too late, maybe I will have time to eat today, maybe not.

leave work at 6,

run home

run to church meetings, camps,  Hillel, youth leadership, or any of the other church meetings I have everyday,

end meeting at 9 sometimes 10, maybe eat dinner.

Do homework until 2 am or until its time to get ready to go to school again.

I hope I sleep.

Oh, Lord, I forgot about you again didnt I? Maybe Il squeeze you in at between 6 and 7 tomorrow.

Maybe on a bus on my way somewhere, maybe Il forget again.

How is it, that time runs so fast, and there is so much to be done, and the most important thing gets pushed away, little by little, day after day,

I realized not eating makes me weary, and tired, and cranky. I simply cannot concentrate during classes, or at work. Its the same if I dont "feed" my relationship with God, and its the most important thing I have learned these past months. I just simply cannot function without HIm.

Everything I do is for him, I work for him, I study for HIm. But am I WITH him enough?

                                                                                   My name: Shalom Anai (for Mackenzie)

.. I think im supposed to put something about blogaday now.

Since I am writing this right after fathers day, and since this is the beguinning of my blogging life, I will start sharing the life lesson that my father left me.

The one that has stayed the strongest in my mind, when I read this verse, I can remember what his voice sounded like,

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

There will be many many moments in my life when I feel like I cant go on, when everything seems hard and dark. But God is commanding me to be strong, to not be afraid, Because He will be with me.

I am not alone, My father taught me that I have to be strong, and I have to keep going, but not on my own strenth, but  holding on to Jesus. Always keeping him as my captain.

My dad is not with me anymore, But this lesson that he left me will be in my heart and mind every day of my life.

By the way, im blogging for 21 days, go to http://blogaday.collected.info to see what others bloggers are up to.